My body is showing signs of extreme fatigue.
No choice but to continue moving through the heavy bush.
The ground is unstable – I keep slipping, I look down at my feet – the mud has formed a second skin.
Mind is racing…..then quiet …..racing again…..jumping through different veils.
I can see it all happening from the inside and I can see it all happening from the outside – shifting visions are keeping me safe.
“Lead the men to safety, lead the men to safety, lead the men to safety, lead the men…..”
I’m so tired, on the move for four days.
“I know where I am going………. where am I going?”
I remember feeling hungry yesterday, today I don’t feel my body from my throat down.
Heart racing loud, thundering in my ears ….. ohhhh delirious fear.
I look back, all the men are GONE!!
My eyes are frantically scanning, I whisper, “where are they?”
I scream and a jolt goes through my body …. I’m spinning …. then back in myself.
I sit on a trunk of a fallen tree.
It’s getting quieter.
I stare and in front of me is a clearing and I see it all…..
The men, there were five of us, now only me.
I look down at my chest and my clothes are splattered with blood, evidence, memory of the men killed.
How did I survive?
Why did I survive?
I look at my hands, just two surface wounds, already healing.
The memories hit me like a waterfall and I cascade down to the soft earth.